First TIME travel advice - happy landings
As you near Lagos or Port Harcourt Airports, your fellow passengers will begin to wake up. A sense of excitement will fill the air. You may wonder why.
The process of landing a jetliner these days is largely automated, and usually goes smoothly even in the worst weather. But remember – this is Nigeria. It’s different here.
If you’re lucky there is not a power cut in progress and the runway lights are on. Hopefully security have cleared any stray animals from the path of your aircraft and the rainy season is not in full swing so you shouldn’t be hit by lightening. Feeling better about flying yet?
Touchdown!
While the plane is taxiing to the terminal, you'll hear the standard greeting, and the warning to stay in your seat until the plane has completely stopped.
Oyibo Alert
Note the way the locals completely ignore this injunction. There are two theories to explain this behavior. One thought is that it indicates the dawning of a healthy spirit of rebellion against arbitrary authority, and a bold stand for individual rights. Others see it as the mark of a people immersed in a war with the natural law of self-preservation, and plain common sense.
In short, they understand that to be first off the airplane means that they won't stand in line for an hour at passport control. You may find this little conundrum pops up occasionally during your stay, giving you something to ponder on long rainy evenings. We suggest, at this point, that you keep your seat.
Many people wonder what they should do once the plane finally stops. Again, there seem to be two theories. One holds that you should calmly wait in your seat until most of your fellow passengers have disembarked. You can then grab your overhead luggage without wrestling with anyone, and calmly sashay off the plane, looking all cool and swinging, or whatever. Most Nigerians find such behavior incomprehensible, and as such, an affront to their national identity. The other is to go native from your wheels hit the tarmac and join in the fray.
Coming off the plane, be sure to thank the flight attendants for your safe arrival. The God-fearing among you should feel free to make the sign of the cross.
Oyibo Alert
A friend once told us that exiting the plane into Lagos airport reminded him of that scene in Saving Private Ryan when the ramp drops on the boat. We feel that he’s exaggerating…. That's what it feels like when you get through customs…. Leaving the plane is like entering the maze scene from The Shining.
